I can score anything

In honor of Phid, I had some Balvenie and Caol Ila. I think Caol Ila is Gaelic for ?Skull Island? (home of King Kong). 

Michael Jackson on Caol Ila: Fragrant. Menthol. Markedly vegetal. Vanilla pod. Creamy.

(This is the famous dead scotch drinking Michael Jackson talking, not the formerly famous, dead career weirdo Michael Jackson)

Melissa (in my attorney’s office):            goat-like, with hints of volcanic ash and cinder.

Me:       Insouciant and perturbed.  More than a mouthful is a brain aneurysm, but in a good way. 

The Balvenie was really good, but almost too elegant and perfected for scotch connoisseurs poseurs like me.  It is a Range Rover with a heads up Nav system and a Harmon Kardon stereo that the valet parks at the country club.  Meanwhile, Caol Ila is a Hummer H1 with no doors (any longer), covered in mud and close-cropped bluegrass from entering via the back 9, with some poor caddy desperately clinging to the brushguard. 

Not that anything like this has EVER happened.

By comparison, Ardbeg would be that same Hummer, except landed on its side, on the roof of the club, after some Phid ?Baja? driving.

I have no idea what that metaphor means, other than ?I like scotch.? 

This is just a fake post in order to envision what Eat More Dog would look like if it existed.

I must have emptied a few of these to be thinking about doing this, yes?

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